Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Breaking News

This just in: Chinese archaeologists do not quite understand how marijuana works. Details at 11:00.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Monday, October 13, 2014

Honk Kong protests

I swear, the protesters' greatest weapon is CY Leung's daughter. Every time people get tired and figure it's time to go back to work/school, she manages to rile everyone up again.

Though for the record, I am strongly in favor of Leung Chai-yan suing the Daily Mail for libel. English defamation law is bullshit, but so is the Daily Mail.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Dear Carrefour

Tensions between your forces and the Armies of Chaon have been dangerously high of late, but I have good news. Last year's unpleasantness, referred to as the "Guacamole in a jar incident", can now be safely put behind us. Today, your organization has more than redeemed itself with the "Hollandaise sauce in the tetra pack box transaction".

I look forward to mutually beneficial, long-term cooperation in the future.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Hey Kanye and Kim

Don't listen to the haters talking bad about your clothes. The world's Dungeons & Dragons aficionados are all nodding our heads in approval at your dashing apparel.

Now go bust a Magic Missile in some miscreant's ass.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Another Piece of Red

I was reading in New Zealand about Ian Smith
I was thinking they were lucky to be rid of that shit.
The people here can still believe in stiff lips and stiff collars
They're speaking deals in English
But they're making deals in dollars.
They're breaking up an empire
Nobody's buying British
They're calling for an umpire
Nobody's playing cricket
The flags are coming down everybody stands saluting
But somewhere in the distance, I can hear somebody shooting.

And another piece of red left my atlas today.

It's so long Hong Kong and no more Singapore
Those steaming nights of Malta
Goodbye Gibraltar
I'll give you arms for Africa
I'm hungry for India
The sun's set on Australia
And vive le Canada
Theyre breaking up an empire
Nobody's buying British
Calling for an umpire
It really isn't cricket
The flags are coming down
There's a minimum of looting
Somewhere in the distance I can see somebody shooting
And another piece of red left my atlas today.........

-Boomtown Rats, from the album Mondo Bongo

Well that's good.

Finally! Non-GMO salt.

Because my whole life I've been eating only genetically modified salt. And quite frankly, I think it has led to some pretty serious health problems.

I just hope that this salt is also free-range. When I think about those helpless salt crystals growing up in tiny little cages on corporate factory farms, it makes me want to cry.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Friday, September 12, 2014

Fine, I admit it.

The Daan Park MRT Station is much nicer than Banqiao's.

The Foresight of Fred Rogers


Hey Taipei

I'm not an expert in pollution or river ecologies, but this can't be good, can it?

From Banqiao to Gongguan, the Xindian Creek is full of tens of thousands of dead fish. I didn't even know there were that many fish in that creek. The smell is pretty bad, so the die-off is a couple of days old, I guess. 

Anybody know what's going on?